ME 'n Dick - A short Story...
by LOCAL ARTiSTE AND SUPER HERO - JOHNNY DEE

'Lets kill Dad, and burn him on the beach tonight!' Said Dick, he had a huge grin on his tremendously hideous face, and he had a manic look in his piggy eyes.

Suddenly the tent flaps were pushed open, a burly policeman stood in the doorway, his helmet knocked slightly from his head by the unnaturally low awning on our tent.

'Do you know a Mr Daxton?', we all looked at each other, Dick was by now dribbling saliva and flem down his chin, this was perfectly normal after his dose of medicine, and on a bad day it could be nearly three feet deep!
We all looked at each other, sensing that something was very wrong, Mum tried to wake Dad from his drunken stupor by tipping boiling water down his nostrils, he shrieked and jumped up startled.

The Officer again put his question, Mum blushed before telling him that we had in fact know Mr Daxton for some considerable length of time.
'What's wrong with Mr Daxton?' Inquired Dick. 'I'm afraid he is dead'. You could have measured the silence with a thermometer and it would have read 0.00 Fahrenheit.
'Did he have vomit on his tennis shorts?' I asked tentatively. 'We don't know son, you see we found his charred remains on the beach, he was surrounded by human bottom waste, if you know what I mean'.
Dick's dribble seemed to increase in density, it was now like an egg white mixed with pineapple juice, only not so fruity.

'Is the lad all right?', asked the Policeman, 'His head seems too big for his body'.
Mum interjected, 'he only has a malformation of the skull Officer, as long as he takes his medication he will be perfectly OK', I sat still, frozen on the lounger next to the fridge, Mum shut the fridge door and I warmed a little. How the hell did Mr Daxton die? Why was he on the beach? Where did the raw sewage come from? Would the police suspect me and Dick?
What would we have for tea?

'We saw Mr Daxton, didn't we Dick?, It was about five o'clock, he was hanging around the toilets, being sick in the wash basins, tell me Officer what time was he found on the beach?'

The large policeman removed his notebook from his back pocket, his truncheon dangled, shinning in the evening sun. 'He was discovered by member of the public at 5.40 PM'.
I glanced at my watch, the time was now 6.15, Mr Daxton had been murdered and burned in the space of forty minutes, I had been with Dick for the whole day, yet only minutes ago he had suggested burning Dad on the beach, what the hell was going on?'
'If you can give us any more information we have set up an enquiry tent behind the shop, I think I'd better start by taking all your names'.

The policeman scribbled down all the details he required and made his way out of our tent.
'Dick, why did you think of burning Dad tonight?', Dad was shocked to hear this, as he had been unconscious the first time it was mentioned. 'Dick you little monkey, why were you going to burn me?', 'because you spent all the family allowance on drink,that's why'.

Dicks head was getting bigger, red veins were sticking out over his forehead, Mum got a damp flannel from our wash bowl and quickly doused his throbbing skull, the meeting of skin and wet cloth produced a hiss, but at least Dicks head seemed to be stabilising.

Suddenly I remembered that Dick had gone to the shop alone to get his medicine, this would have taken him past Mr Daxton's deluxe caravan, I had to confront my large headed brother, and the effects could be disastrous.
'Dick, did you see anything on your way to the shop?', Dick broke down and sobbed, 'Yes, I saw a mans body burning on the beach, it was horrible, I ran over to help, I got some water from the shower cubicle, it still had the turds in from our trip to the sewers, I ran away, my head was getting heavy, I could hardly keep it up. I needed my drugs'.

Mum hugged Dick, as he cried. Suddenly The policeman pushed open our flaps and he stood breathless in the doorway, 'there's been a development, we've turned Mr Daxtons caravan inside out for clues, and as I was leaving, Inspector Blunkett noticed a suicide note on the table. The old man had been depressed, his eyesight was failing and he thought he might have to retire from the job he loved. He'd also left an envelope for you two boy's, Dick and Nigel Spooner, I don't know what it could be, but I would like you to open it now so that I can see what it is'.

The fat policeman passed the dirty brown envelope to Dick, he examined it as much as he could, for he still had his head in 'Y' shaped resting device. 'Here Nigel, you open it', Dick tossed the mysterious package to me. I looked at it for a minute, my hands were as sweaty as a boxer's , I ripped off the top of the letter. It was two fifty pounds notes!!! I'd never ever held some much money, we could have chips, lemonade, ice-cream, even a meat pie!

My whole body was trembling, the policeman smiled, 'a happy ending after all'.
He departed, leaving us in a jubilous mood, our ecstatic feeling soon evaporated as Mum snatched the money from my grasp. 'This will get me one more crack at the Bingo, it's Jackpot night tonight, and you can have some more whiskey Terry'. Dad eye's sparkled at the thought of more alcohol, and the two of them bundled out and made there way to Milly's clubhouse.

Me and Dick could not believe what had happened today, we felt so hungry, and we were on our own, there was no food in the tent save for an old piece of stale bread and some cheese.
Dick suddenly had an idea, 'lets go and see what Mr Daxton has left in his caravan, he might have some tasty treats, they'd only be wasted, he would want us to have them'.

We slipped out into the cool evening air, there was no-one around, they'd all gone to play bingo. We approached Mr Daxton's Deluxe caravan, the bedroom window was still open, I'd get through, but Dick would no doubt get his head stuck in the small aperture. I moved the front steps around to the back and slowly made my entrance through the tiny bedroom window. The place looked a mess, I went through the small hall way, which was dark and smelt and let my brother in via the front door. We were soon in the kitchen, the fridge held wonders to behold, chicken pies, pork pies, chocolate bars, crisps, and ice-cream in the freezer section.
We scoffed and scoffed till everything was gone, but we had a warm feeling in our tummies.
The shop clock chimed ten, for ten o'clock, it was time to get out!

I carefully opened the door and we quietly made our way out, we could hear the sea crashing on to the beach, and the distant sounds of the fair ground, we could also hear a more familiar sound, it was Mum and Dad they were laughing, singing, shouting, whooping and cheering.

Our pace quickened as we neared our tent, we saw the silhouette of Dad popping a champagne cork, and Mum throwing lots of paper in the air!

We burst in, 'Mum, Dad, what has happened?' Mum turned, 'I've scooped the jackpot, Ten thousand pounds!!'.
Dick messed himself, I could not take this in. 'You know what this means boy's?' Said Dad,
'I now have enough money to have you two adopted!'.

Dick's head immediately started to swell, Mum grabbed for the aspirin bottle but it was empty! Dick's condition was now critical, we had to get some tablets and quick.
Without saying a word I rushed out and headed towards Mr Daxton's caravan, I opened the front door, which we'd left from earlier. I reached for the light switch to illuminate the gloomy kitchen. I opened a draw, there was a packet of aspirin, I picked them up and ran.

As I got back to our tent I could see Dad holding Dick by the ankles and sticking his enormous head in the washing up bowl, I got the aspirins and mixed them with the Rennie,
Dick gulped the mixture down, once again we'd averted danger.

'I was only joking', said Dad, as he unbuttoned his flies in readiness for a trip to the toilet block. 'Fish, chips, and meat pies all round for everyone tonight', he added.

Dick messed himself, and we all laughed!

THE STORY OF SKEGNESS HOLIDAY

Johnny took his elderly parents to Butlins, Skegness, for a 'holiday from hell'.

Here are the gory details:

TUESDAY 9TH MARCH 04-THURSDAY 11TH MARCH 04

POP BOOKED US FOR A 70's BREAK. I'D ALWAYS BEEN A FAN OF THE SWEET, SLADE AND T.REX, BUT WE SOON FOUND OUT THAT THE 70's PART OF THE DEAL WAS REFERING TO THE AGE OF THE CAMPERS! ALARM BELLS SHOULD HAVE RUNG WHEN WE POPPED OVER TO GOREFIELD TO LOOK AT THE MAGAZINE THAT HAD ADVERTISED THE BREAK.
AS I TURNED EACH PAGE, A COMMON LINK WAS QUITE CLEARLY BECOMNG VISABLE....'OLD PEOPLE'.
THE 'YOURS' MAGAZINE WAS A PUBLICATION FOR PENSIONERS!
'COME TO SKEGNESS, BUTLINS FOR OUR 30TH BIRTHDAY PARTY', THE BANNER HEADLINE READ. 'YOU WILL BE ENTERTAINED; WE HAVE A TRIBUTE TO THE BEVERLY SISTERS, MAX MILLER AND SONGS FROM WORLD WAR 1'. IT CERTAINLY WHETTED THE APPETITE.

OUR JOURNEY STARTED ON TUESDAY 9TH MARCH 2004, THE WEATHER WAS CLEAR, BUT NIPPY, OVERCOATS WERE THE ORDER OF THE DAY, SCARVES, WOOLY HATS, FUR MITTENS WERE OPTIONAL EXTRAS THAT ONLY I HAD SEEM TO HAVE GONE FOR.
IT WAS ONLY A COUPLE OF HOURS TRAVEL BEFORE WE REACHED THE LINCONSHIRE COASTSAL RESORT OF SKEGNESS.

INSIDE THE ENORMOUS 'SKYLINE' ENTERTAINMENT CENTRE, WHERE YOU WOULD NORMALLY FIND JUGGLERS, CHILDRENS ENTERTAINERS, PUPPETEERS, DISCO DANCING AND THE LIKE, IT WAS NOW TRANSFORMED IN TO A MECCA FOR THE THORA HIRD FAN CLUB!

STAIRLIFTS-RECLINING BEDS- WHEELCHAIRS-INCONTINENCE PRODUCTS-ZIMMER FRAME MANAFACTURERS-SAGA HOLIDAY REPRESENTATIVES-ALL STOOD TRYING TO FLOG THEIR PRODUCTS.

POP WENT TO 'CHECK-IN' HE EXCHANGED PAPERS AND BEEN ISSUED WITH TWO SETS OF KEYS, NOW THE FUN HAD JUST BEGUN!

WHOEVER DEVISEDTHE NUMBERING SYSTEM FOR THE CHALETS MUST HAVE BEEN NUMERICALLY DYSLEXSIC.
WHEN POP GOT THE KEYS, THE MAN TOLD HIM, 'YOU'LL FIND YOUR ROOMS RIGHT NEAR THE SKYLINE CENTRE'.
WE DROVE FOR ABOUT TEN MINUTES DOWN A LONG WINDY ROAD, WE EVENTUALLY REACHED THE OYSTER BAY CAR PARK, KINGFISHER BLOCK.

OUR KEY NUMBERS WERE 114-115. THE ACCOMODATION WAS ON TWO LEVELS, WE CLIMBED SOME RUSTY STAIRS TO FIND THE FIRST ROOM- 111. WE WENT PAST THAT, BUT THE NEXT ONE WAS 211!
100 NUMBERS HAD BEEN MISSED OUT. WAS THIS THE BERMUDA TRIANGLE OF LINCOLNSHIRE?
WE CAME DOWN THE STAIRS TOTALLY CONFUSED AS THE COLD WIND WHIPPED AROUND OUR EARS. IT WAS INTERESTING TO SEE OTHER BEWILDERED PENSIONERS IN OUR SAME PREDICAMENT, I WONDERED IF SOME MIGHT EVEN BE FOUND DEAD THE NEXT MORNING, STILL CLUTCHING THEIR KEY FOBS AND OVERNIGHT CARRIER BAG'S.

AFTER A FURTHER 15 MINUTES OR SO WE EVENTUALLY FOUND OUR ROOMS 114-115, JUST WHERE YOU THOUGHT THEY WOULD BE, NEXT TO 223!!

I WENT BACK TO THE CAR, NIKI AND MA WERE EAGERLY AWAITING NEWS.
'DO YOU LIKE WALKING AND CLIMBING HOLIDAYS?' I ASKED.
MY MUM AND DAD HAD TAKEN EVERY PRECAUTION WHEN PACKING FOR THIS FOUR DAY BREAK, BRINGING THEIR TOASTER, MICROWAVE AND ABOUT TWO WEEKS WORTH OF SHOPPING AS WELL AS A LARGE SUITCASE.

WHAT WE NEEDED NOW WAS A TEAM OF SHERPAS TO GET ALL THIS STUFF UP TO BASE CAMP 2. IF THIS WAS A GIG IT WOULD BE ONE OF THE WORST UNLOADING POINTS EVER, ABOUT A QUARTER OF A MILE FROM OUR ROOMS UP TWO FLIGHTS OF METAL STAIRS!

WE FOUND A BACK ENTRANCE WHICH CUT THE HIKE DOWN TO ONLY ABOUT 100 YARDS OR SO.
AFTER ABOUT 17 TRIPS TO UNLOADTHE CAR (THE MICROWAVE REMAINED COVERED WITH A PICNIC BLANKET), WE CHECKED OUR MAP OF THE SITE AND FOUND WE WERE POSITIONED AT THE MOST WESTERLY POINT POSSIBLE.
WE WERE ABOUT AS FAR AWAY FROM THE MAIN CONCORSE OR SHOPS AS WE COULD BE, ANY FUTHER WEST AND WE WOULD HAVE BEEN IN THE SEA!
ME AND POP DECIDED TO TAKE BRISK WALK AND FIND OUT HOW FAR WE ACTUALLY WERE FROM CIVALIZATION.
IT TOOK ABOUT 10-12 MINUTES AT SPEED, WE HAD TO CUT THROUGH OTHER ACCOMODATION'S GARDENS AND GRASSED AREAS. IT FELT LIKE A NORTH POLE EXPADITION WITH FORCE 8 WIND'S ROLLING OFF THE SEA.
WE EVENTUALLY REACHED THE SKYLINE CENTRE, BOUGHT SOME POTATOES AND TOILET ROLL, THEN WENT FOR A QUICK FRAME OF SNOOKER.
WE MADE OUR WAY ALONG THE TARMAC ROADWAYS LEADING TO THE HOLYGRAIL, THE GREENBAIZE SNOOKER HALL. BUT DISASTER STRUCK! THE HALL HAD BEEN CLOSED DOWN, THEY WERE RE-CLOTHING THE TABLES!

WE GOT BACK TO THE CHALET WITH TEARS IN OUR EYES, BUT THERE WERE MORE TRYING MOMENTS TO FOLLOW.
NIKI WAS BUSY TRYING TO WORK THE COOKER, THE PROBLEM WAS YEARS OF KNOB TURNING HAD VIRTUALLY ERASED ALL THE LITTLE SYMBOLS THAT YOU NORMALLY FIND ON WHITE ELECTRICAL GOODS, THERE WERE NO CLEAR INSTRUCTIONS VISABLE. SHE HAD SHUT THE DOOR FOR SEVERAL MINUTES WITH THE KNOB HOPEFULLY SET TO 'COOK'. IT WAS OPENED SHORTLY AFTER, BUT SMOKE BILLOWED OUT, THE GRILL HAD BEEN ON! I WENT NEXT DOOR TO OUR ROOM TO LOOK AT OUR COOKER, AND FOUND INSTRUCTIONS PINNED ON THE INSIDE TOP CUPBOARD DOOR, JUST WHERE YOU'D THINK OF LOOKING (THE SAME BLOKE WHO DESIGNED THE CHALET NUMBERING MUST HAVE BEEN GIVEN THIS JOB TOO!).
THERE WAS A FURTHER DILEMA WITH THE 'COMPREHENSIVE' INSTRUCTIONS, THEY ONLY SEEMED TO COVER THE GRILL PART OF THE OPERATION. THIS LEFT YOU WITH A 50/50 GAMBLE OPTION ON HOW THE OVEN ACTUALLY WORKED. IT WAS GUESSING TIME.
OUR GAMBLE PAID OFF, AND WE ENJOYED A LOVELY MEAL, BY WHICH TIME MA HAD A BAD TURN AND WAS LOOKING VERY POORLY. SHE WENT TO BED AND SLEPT. NIKI SAID SHE WOULD STAY IN THE CHALET AND GRANNY SIT, WHILE ME AND POP WENT TO SEE KEN DODD OR SHOULD I RE-PHRASE THAT AND SAY WHILE WE WENT TO SIT IN AN OVERCROWDED ROOM, WITH NO SIGHT OF THE STAGE AND LIMITED HEARING OF THE JOKES OF KEN DODD.

WHEN WE GOT INTO THE MAIN ENTERTAINMENT CENTRE OF THE SKYLINE COMPLEX, 'STAGE ONE' WE MANAGED TO GET TWO 'EMERGENCY' SEATS RIGHT AT THE BACK OF THE VENUE, BUT AT LEAST WE COULD SEE THE PERFORMANCE AREA.
WE SAT AND WAITED FOR OVER AN HOUR FOR THE 'KING OF COMEDY', AND WHEN DODDY HIT THE STAGE JUST GONE 10PM A LOAD OF OLD CODGERS WALTZED IN FROM NOWHERE RIGHT IN FRONT OF US!!
ALL WE COULD SEE WERE THE BACK OF PENSIONERS HEADS.
AS THE SHOW WENT ON AND ON AND ON, SO SOME OF THE CROWD STARTED TO DRIFT AWAY, NO DOUBT NEEDING THEIR DOSE OF SANATOGEN, COD LIVER OIL SUPPLIMENTS AND TO EMPTY THEIR INCONTINENCE PANTS.
I ASKED POP IF HE HAD ENJOYED THE SHOW, HE SAID SOMETHING THAT YOU MIGHT THINK WOULD HINDER ANY LIVE PERFORMANCE, 'I COULDN'T SEE IT OR HEAR IT, BUT IT WAS OK'.

BACK TO THE CHALET BY 12.30AM. MA UP AND ABOUT AND FEELING A BIT BETTER.

WEDNESDAY 10TH MARCH:
HAD A GOOD NIGHT SLEEP, WENT NEXT DOOR FOR PORRIDGE AT 8.15AM. BY 9AM IT WAS SNOWING!
PAUL AND KERRY SHOULD BE COMING UP TODAY TO PLAY SNOOKER.
AT 9.30 ME AND POP DROVE UP TO SEE IF THE GREENBAIZE WAS READY FOR ACTION, NO IT WAS NOT!
IN THE MEANTIME PAUL HAD DRIVEN TO THE MAINGATE, I HAD TOLD HIM THAT THEY MIGHT HAVE TO PAY A SMALL FEE IN ORDER TO COME INTO THE COMPLEX, BUT THE BUTLINS SYSTEM WAS MORE CLEAR CUT THAN THAT.
THEY WERN'T COMING ON FULL STOP!!
WHETHER HE PAID OR NOT.

IT MEANT WE WOULD HAVE TO TAKE A TRIP INTO SKEGGY TO FIND THEM. THEY CALLED ME ON MY MOBILE PHONE TO SAY THEY WERE AT DUNES BAR ON THE SEAFRONT.
WE FOUND THEM QUITE EASILY, IT WAS NICE BAR OVERLOOKING THE WILD SEA, WITH, IMPORTANTLY TWO DECENT POOL TABLES. WE ENJOYED SOME DRINKS AND SEVERAL GAMES ENDING WITH PAULS SUGGESTION OF 'KILLER POOL', WHERE YOU PUT MONEY IN A KITTY AND LOSE LIVES FOR MISSING SHOTS. PAUL AND POP WERE THE FINAL TWO, WITH THE YOUNG ONE WINNING THE HUGE £6 PURSE.
KERRY WAS FEELING HUNGRY, AND SAID SHE WOULD LIKE TO SEE OUR ACCOMODATION. WE HAD ENOUGH FOOD AT THE CHALET TO KEEP A SMALL AFRICAN VILLAGE RUNNING FOR A FORTNIGHT, SO WE DECIDED WE'D HAVE TO LEAVE PAULS CAR IN THE DUNES CARPARK AND SMUGGLE THE YOUNGSTERS IN MINE.
WHEN I LIFTED MY BOOT PAUL SAID, 'WHATS THAT UNDER THE PICNIC BLANKET?'
'OH JUST A MICROWAVE' I REPLIED WITHOUT BLINKING AN EYELID, AS IF IT WERE THE ITEM THAT EVERYONE TAKES ON A 4 DAY BREAK TO BUTLINS.
AFTER SOME CONTORTION WORK ON THE PART OF KERRY AND PAUL THEY WERE EVENTUALLY IN PLACE UNDER COATS, BLANKETS TO BE SMUGGLED ON TO THE COLDITZ OF EAST LINCOLN....BUTLINS!

MY PALMS GREW SWEATY AND HEART SKIPPED BEATS AS WE APPROACHED THE GUARDS OFFICE, WHAT IF HE DECIDED TO CONDUCT A STRIP SEARCH ON OUR VEHICLE? WHAT IF KERRY SNEEZED AS HE WAS CHECKING MY PAPERWORK? THERE WERE MANY PITFALLS AND LADY LUCK HAD TO BE ON OUR SIDE.
I TOLD POP TO ACT NORMAL, AND SIMPLY HOLD OUR KEY FOB UP, NICE AND CLOSE TO THE WINDOW SCREEN.
THE WEATHER WAS SURELY ON OUR SIDE, WINDY AND WET, THE FAT GUARD WOULD JUST WANT TO STAY IN HIS CONTROL BOX AND FINISH HIS POT NOODLE.

WE SWEPT THROUGH THE GATES WITH OUT A HITCH, LUCKILY TUBS HAD ELECTED TO MUNCH HIS NOODLY SNACK INSTEAD OF CONCIENCOIOSLY INSPECTING MY CAR.

AMAZINGLY WE GOT STUCK BEHIND A TRACTOR PULLING A HEAVY LOAD, AND WERE REDUCED TO AN EXCRUTIATING 5MPH. POP HAD BEEN IN THESE STICKY SITUATIONS BEFORE BEING A WORLD WAR 2 VETRAN, AND HE STARTED COMMONTATING AS IF WE WERE POW's IN STALAG 17. 'THERE'S A GUARD OVER THERE, BY THE TENNIS COURTS, HEADS DOWN, GROUP OF RED COATS EMERGING FROM THE DRY CLEANERS'.

THE 10 MINUTE JOURNEY SEEMED TO LAST AN HOUR, BUT WE EVENTUALLY MADE IT. I PULLED UP, JUMPED OUT, AND QUICKLY SCANNED THE LANDSCAPE, POP CREATED A DIVERSION BY DROPPING HIS KEYS AND PAPERWORK AND NIKI PULLED THE INSIDE LATCH TO RELEASE THE BOOT MECHANISIM.

PAUL AND KERRY KEPT THEIR HEADS DOWN, THEY WOULD BE EASILY SPOTTED AS ALIENS IN THE 'UP YOURS' WEEK. KERRY DECIDED IF SHE WAS CHALLENGED SHE WOULD PRETEND TO BE AN ALBANIAN ASYLUM SEEKER WHO HAD SIMPLY 'STOWED AWAY' IN THE BOOT OF A FORD MONDEO, BRINGING WITH HER, HER PRIZED POSSESSION, A MICROWAVE.

WE HAD A NICE LUNCH AND WHILST SITTING AROUND WE WORKED OUT THAT BETWEEN THE TWO ROOMS WE HAD: 12 BEDS! 18 CHAIRS! 3 TOASTERS- 3 MICROWAVES- 2 TELEVISION SETS-4 LARGE SOFAS- AND TWO DINING TABLES, WE COULD HAVE EASILY OPENED UP A BRANCH OF COURTS AND HAD ENOUGH STOCK FOR AN AUGUST BANK HOLIDAY!

PAUL HAD TO WORK NEXT DAY SO THEY WENT OFF HOME AT ABOUT 6.30PM.

MA HAD ANOTHER BAD TURN, AND RETURNED TO BED, POP TOLD US NEXT DAY THAT SHE HAD BEEN PASSING OUT IN THE NIGHT, AND HE COULDN'T GET TO A PHONE AND KEEP HER HEAD UP, AND WAS IN A BIT OF A PANIC.
IT WAS DECIDED THAT SHE'D BE BEST OFF AT HOME AND SEEING THE LOCAL DOCTOR AS SOON AS POSSIBLE.

SO ON THE THURSDAY MORNING WE PACKED UP ALL OUR BELONGINGS, MICROWAVES, TOASTERS ETC ETC.
AND HEADED BACK FOR GOREFIELD.

THE END

Bands I have seen-perhaps you were there too!

Please let me know!

For some reason, when I went to see a Live Band I kept a diary of what they were like.
Here are some of the original reports:

Friday 3rd October 1975: Cambridge Corn Exchange.
Supporting Artist: Simon Boswell, Acoustic Guitar, Vocals.
Main Band: Camel.
Admission Fee: £ 1.40
Simon Boswell, Good guitar player, not very good singer or writer of songs.
He did five numbers, best of which was his own version of the twelve bar blues.
Camel, four men made up the band, Peter Bardens, Andy Latimer, Doug Ferguson, and Andy Ward.
Very good group, did two numbers, then whole of 'Snow Goose', went off then encore, went off, another encore, went off then another encore.
Brilliant timing, great live band, also had a slide show for 'snow Goose'.

Friday 10th October 1975: Cambridge Corn Exchange.
Supporting Artist: Tea
Main Group: Baker Gurvitz Army.
Admission Fee: £1.50
Tea, a very good 5-piece band, drums, guitar, bass, keyboards, vocals.
Band come from Switzerland, they did a 45 minute spot, and one encore.
Baker Gurvitz Army, another 5-piece band, including world famous drummer, Ginger Baker.
Also featured the Gurvitz brothers, and Mr. Snips on vocals.
They did, People, Space Machine, Hustler, Inside of me, White Room, The Artist, Sunshine of your love, and Baker did a 10-minute drum solo!
Best song was White Room.
Andy Clayton and Woo Mace also came.

Friday 31st October 1975: Cambridge Corn Exchange.
Supporting Artist: G.T. Moore & the Reggae Guitars.
Main Band: Dr. Feelgood.
Admission : £ 1.60.
G.T were two drummers, 1 bongo player, bass, organ, sax, two guitars, and one singer.
Did forty minutes of Reggae music, not bad, one encore.
Dr. Feelgood, a great group! Wilko Johnson, guitar, Lee Brillaux ,singer, The big figure, drums, and John B. Sparks, bass.
The venue was packed, but we got to the front, some of the songs were:
Roxette, Down by the Jetty, Riot in cell block #9, Back in the night, Im a man, Balls of fire, and many more.
One encore, crowd going wild on Roxette. (Woo Mace came).

Friday 5th March 1976: Cambridge Corn exchange.
Support artist: Alphalpha.
Main band: Sailor.
Admission Fee: £1.40.
First band were a four-piece from London, two acoustic guitars, bass, drums, did an hour set, some pretty good songs.
Sailor, another four-piece, very good, did a two-hour set and four encores.
Great timing! Best song was their no. 1 hit, Glass of Champagne.
Good lighting too, played many instruments, a huge Mexican guitar, a harp, accordion and the nickelodeon. Andy Clayton and Fred Norman also came.

Friday 12th March 1976: Cambridge Corn Exchange.
Support Act: Graham Parker and the Rumour.
Main act: Thin Lizzy.
Admission Fee : £.1.40.
First act, not a bad group, did a 30 minute set.
All songs Rock n Roll, written by Parker, They were loud, but quite good.
Thin Lizzy, a very good group, Phil Lynott, Brian Downey, Scott Gorham and Brian Robertson.
A great start with the clanking of doors and locks for about one minute in the pitch black, then a flash bomb exploded and the band launched in to Jailbreak, they did a 90-minute set including, The Rocker, Sha La La, Rosalie, Suicide, Romeo and the lonely girl, Drummer did a 10-minute solo.
Got two encores. Andy Clayton also came.

Friday 19th March 1976: Cambridge Corn Exchange.
Support Act: Richard Barnes and Tony Hazzard.
Main Act: Camel.
Admission Fee : £1.40.
First act were two men with acoustic guitar's. Went down fairly well, but had a lot of
Trouble with feed back. Audience quite good.
Main group had the same line up as last time and just as good. They did two new song's from their new LP Moon madness was the first and then done a few pieces from snow goose, which was really good as well.
They did a twenty minute encore and then finished. They also had a slide show like before.
Gary, Fred ,Norman and Andy Clayton came.

Tuesday 8th June. 1976. Cambridge Corn Exchange.
Support Act : George Hatchet Band.
Main Act : Doctor Feelgood.
Admission Fee : £1.70.
Support act were good rock band. Six piece with two guitars, drums, organ, bass and lead singer. Got a good reception and did one encore.
Doctor Feelgood played, I can tell, She does it right, Bonnie Morronie, Rolling and Tumbling Back in the night, Cell block number nine, Going back home, and Roxette. Still as good as ever. The temperature was about 70, and everyone was sweating, but it was a great show.
Andrew Dilks came and so did Andy Clayton.

Saturday 21st August. Knebworth Festival.
Support Acts : Todd Rungren, Lynyed Skinnerd, 10 CC. Don Harrison Band and Hot Tuna.
Main Act : Rolling Stones.
Admission Fee : £4.50.
Arrived at 12 noon on Friday. Got a good place on the camp site. Got up at 6am and started to queue at 7.30. Entered the arena at 9am and the Don Harrison Band came on at 12 noon for 45 mins. Hot Tuna were a sought of Cream based band and did some good songs lasting about 20 mins each. Todd Rungren's spot was very good. He played for an hour. Lynyed Skinnerd were from the U.S.A. They were very good. Best song was Alabama.
10 CC had a lot of trouble with feedback but finally got going. They did One night in Paris, I'm not in love, I'm Mandy, fly me, Rubber Bullets, and Wall street shuffle. They were a brilliant band and did one encore.
Rolling Stones hit the stage at about 11pm. They started with Satisfaction and went on to do Get off my cloud, Little red rooster, Stray cat blues, Around Around, Happy, Brown Sugar, Wild Horses, Tumbling Dice, Fool to cry, Hot Stuff, Jumping Jack Flash, Midnight Rambler, Street Fighting Man, let's spend the night together, Only rock and roll, You can't always get what you want, Honky Tonk Woman, and 2 from Billy Preston. They were fantastic and came off stage at 2am. We went home on Sunday morning. I went with my mates Woo and Andy.

Norwich St. Andrews Hall. Beatle Convention.Admission Fee £1.80.
Support Act : Young World.
Main Act : Abbey Road.
Support act not very good. Main group were brilliant. They played She loves you, Love me do, Get back, All you need is Love to name but a few.

Saturday 25th Sept. 1976.
Support Act : George Hatchet Band.
Main Act : Dr. Feelgood.
Support act came on about 8.30pm and played for 60 mins, with one encore. They put on a very good show. Same line up as last time.
Dr Feelgood came on at 10pm and played Roxette, Going back home, Stupidity, I am a man, and lots more. Brilliant show, one encore. Fred and Woo came.

Friday 27th of May 1977. Cambridge Corn Exchange.
Support Act : The Adverts.
Main Act : The Damned.
Admission Fee. £1.80.
The support act consisted of two drummers, one lead singer, one girl bass player, and one guitarist. The singer looked like Johnny Rotten and they were useless. They went on for an hour with songs that all sounded the same. The Damned came on at 10.30pm.
They were, Rat Scabies (drums) Dave Vaninan (vocals) Brian Jones (guitar) Captain Senseable (bass) and were better than The Adverts. They did Feel All right, Neat Neat Neat, New Rose, Born to Kill, Stab your Back, and Fish plus a few others off their album Damned Damned Damned. They finished at 11pm.

Friday 2nd December 1977: Cambridge Corn Exchange.
Support act: The Yachts
Main act: The Boomtown Rats.
Admission Fee: £2.00
Support group not very good at all, all songs sounded the same.
The Boomtown Rats played for an hour, doing Joey, Do the rat, Mary of the fourth form, and encore of Looking after no. 1.

F riday 14th April 1978: Cambridge Corn Exchange.
Support group: Unknown
Main group: Wilko Johnson & the Blast furnace.
Admission Fee: £2.00
Support group quite good, a 5-piece rock n roll band.
Wilko as good as ever. Good band, Piano, drums, bass.
They did, paradise, 20 yards behind, she does it right, going back home, boom boom and more.

Friday 12th May 1978:
Support band: The British Lions
Main Band: AC/DC.
Admission Fee: £2.00
The British Lions did forty five minutes, had problems with equipment (kept going off).
Ex-members of Mott the Hoople, Boffin, Overend Watts, not a bad group.
AC/DC came on at 5 past 10 and did, Whole lotta Rosie, Let there be Rock, Riff Raff, The Jack, Bad boy Boogie, Down payment Blues, they did one encore and finished at 11.20PM.

Wednesday 15th November 1978: Hammersmith Odeon, London.
Support Act: Blazer Blazer.
Main act: AC/DC.
Admission Fee: £3.00.
Me Mitch and Brian went by car, really good theatre, all seats great view, good sound.
Blazer were quite good did 45 minutes and finished with Johnny B. Goode.
AC/DC started with Live Wire, then did, Sin City, Problem Child, Hell ain't a bad place to be, Bad Boy Boogie, The Jack, Gone Shootin', Rosie, Rocker, High Voltage, did one encore, Let There be Rock. Really Good!

Saturday 18th August 1979: Wembley Stadium, London.
Support Acts: Nils Lofgren, Stranglers, AC/DC.
Main Act: The Who.
Nils Lofgren came on at 3 PM, played a good set for about 45 minutes he did one encore.
AC/DC started with Live Wire, it was a funny mix for a start but at times was very good.
They did very good, The Jack, Walk all over you, Highway to Hell, Shot down in Flames and one encore of If you want Blood, You got it!
When the Stranglers hit the stage it was just getting dark, they finished with a firework logo of their name, went down well, but they didn't do an encore.
The Who came on at 8.15PM, and the 72,000 fans were ecstatic, went straight into Substitute, which was really good! The did, Can't Explain, Baba O'rielly, 5.15, Godfather & the punk, Pinball wizard, See me feel me, (this is where they used laser beams and smoke effects, it was amazing). Boris the spider, drowned, Who are You?, My generation, Magic Bus, sister Disco and long live Rock!
Finished at 10.10 PM with Won't get fooled Again (with thunder flashes on stadiums twin towers).
After a five minute ovation they came back to play Summertime blues and The real me.
Got home at 1.15AM.

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